The Notorious HRT

 

🏳️‍⚧️Gender Update🏳️‍⚧️

So to update you, I have now started HRT as of 12 April 2025. After travelling to a city over 300 Miles from me. In theory I don't need to go that far. But due to wait times even on private clinics, it was the most straight forward for me, and it gives me a break from monotony to travel that far. Starting amount is 2mg estradiol, and 25mg Cyproterone daily pill(s). But the estradiol will likely go up with time. The clinic I'm with isn't currently confident about the effects of progesterone. Due to a lot of research being anecdotal. But It's not something I need to think about for a while anyway. As you typically need to progress with oestrogen and blockers first.

Images below of what I'm taking anyway.

Anyway, shared enough about my medical stuff, I'm happy I have started anyway. 

IYKYK

So far the documentation has been the longest part. Having to contact every organisation and let them know, that I have changed name and title. With all that said, not even all of my family know yet, just direct family at the moment.

Which was a little awkward at a funeral with extended family, having to tell my mum and brother to intentionally not refer to my preferred gender for a day if it came up. 

But I'm still early medically I guess. Only been a month as of writing.

🇬🇧TERF Island🇬🇧

Something I'm not looking forward to is a recent ruling by the UK supreme court. That in the Equality act (2010) all references to the word woman, refer to "biological women". Meaning those assigned female at birth. Which means a lot of protection for trans people have been removed. i.e. Male Police will now be able to strip search a female presenting person if they reasonably believe they are trans.

Generally this means the GRC that has been issued since 2005, has less legal validity or meaning than before as well. If having one does not mean in the eyes of the law you are your preferred gender male or female. If you want to read more see: UK: Court Ruling Threatens Trans People

Unfortunately even with a Labour Government who previously criticised the former PM for a transphobic remark last year. Has changed his tone, and has reiterated the ruling in interview.

So generally the UK is becoming a scarier place to be trans in, in terms of how quickly legal protections are seemingly being taken away or changed very suddenly.

Meme

Anyway on a slightly lighter note, as while the world is scary, and people suck. I Feel better and happier starting this journey to be the person that want physically.

I'll steal an image from a Tumblr User, candycornstudios If you click on the image it should open a new tab to the original post as well 💖 🏳️‍⚧️

2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣5️⃣ - Hello Friend

2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣4️⃣

2️⃣0️⃣2️⃣5️⃣

Hey there again, it's 2025, Work has been busy, and it's been a while since my father passed away.

Since then, I have begun questioning my gender (again). You would not believe how much I have rewritten this. This post was started 2024/06/09. Anyway...Big one first

🏳️‍⚧️Gender🏳️‍⚧️

I have been questioning my gender for a while, but largely repressed/ignored the feelings and thoughts since I was a teenager. 

But I have expressed potential interest long term in She/They, pronouns/gender presentation. I have not started hormones, and am still early in having my dark facial/neck hairs removed through electrolysis. But as I get closer to having the main bulk of electrolysis cleared. I think I will be comfortable in picking Makeup back up again. As I did restart my current wave of exploration and questioning with Makeup.

Not to suggest Guys cannot Wear Dresses, wear makeup, etc. But without going too into it here, as I am not entirely comfortable doing so quite yet. I Feel I would be happier presenting with a more female aligned appearance/body.

I am torn between 2 names. Both are similar to my birth name. One is a name that my younger brother used to "jokingly" call me by. While the other Flows a little better for what my middle name will be. 

In January I will be travelling to a private clinic to start my medical transition. As the NHS waiting list for a first appointment is over 4 years at minimum. Depending on clinic, can be a lot longer, (Like decades at current rate).

Long Year

It took a while you may notice based off me starting this mid 2024. But anyway.

Still in the same job, so far.

Won't go into it too much for privacy reasons, but in a weird place financially going into 2025.

Actually taking initiative now though. Being an adult, it just took until I turned 25 to do so. 

I don't know how to end this post, as I feel I should write more, but I don't have much else to write right now.

Anyway have this image that I felt euphoric in. Showing the bottom half of my face.

Beginnings, Middles, and Ends

 Hello World

Hello again, it's been almost a year since I last posted anything on this blog. It's 2023, and I am at another odd time in my life,

Firstly, I am in work, very quickly actually, started about 2 weeks before my Graduation ceremony. Can't go too much into the client. But I work in IT support as a "service desk technical analyst".

Some days are a lot busier than others, but importantly, it is remote. As my company office is based in Bridgend in Wales. Very far from where I live in the middle of England. Which at times can be very lonely, despite talking all day. It allows me to stay with the woman I love, and care for her.

Even though it is highly unlikely anyone is reading this. I won't get too personal. But my partner/girlfriend, has been going to therapy since late last year.

I think I should probably start structuring this post as there has been a little bit in the past year.

Work

So as mentioned I work in IT, in support. It's alright. I obviously won't mention the company. But they are good. I get good benefits, and the people aren't too bad. When I do have any interaction with them. 

I'll explain the last sentence. Being remote, the only communication I have with anyone in the company is over Microsoft's Teams. My service desk works both on phone and a webchat. Everyone used to have access to a teams channel made for those on webchat. But for some reason when I had 4 days off. I came back to find they were removing everyone. Because only those on webchat that day have access to the text chat on teams. Webchat had the most relaxed atmosphere. Which I assume is why the text chat has been limited. Which is a shame, as every other chat and teams channel is made for technical questions, shift swaps, etc. So working remote I have now lost any semblance of a work place "relationship" beyond pure professionalism from my workplace away from the office.

It doesn't help that for a collection of reasons, from the job, to living arrangements of my flat (More on that later), and due to needing to be on call. I effectively "kick" my partner out of the bedroom. As I work from my bedroom on call. It's less harsh on webchat. But if I start at 7:00, I have to wake my partner up and have her out of the room before I go ready. Which even with an SSD in my work laptop (Started with a HDD, in 2022 I know), it still can take almost half an hour to comfortably have the software and setup ready to got ready for call.

Home

I am still living in the same place from when I was paying the student prices for my accommodation. As where I live is a collection of flats that provide different prices for "key workers", students, and everyone else. Which to begin with, wasn't too bad staying, As the price did not go up much going from the cheaper "student" price to normal price. But because the council tax, utilities, rent, etc, all in one monthly payment. But due to each one going up (Particularly "utilities"). As despite bills going up for everyone, mine was delayed, as the prices are only changed may of each year. Due to the cost being payed direct to the accommodation, I also do not automatically get the discount for bills that the government provide at the moment. So Quite suddenly my cost of living has gone up by nearly £400 very suddenly.

Which has been severe reason to move ASAP. Which is difficult when only I work at the moment, and landlords being landlords.

It has just been unfortunate timing as well Due to the next section.

The Final Frontier

Last time I mentioned having gone to my grandmothers funeral, as I got Covid there. Now I have not gotten Covid again. Instead another Funeral... My Fathers. Unfortunately my Father passed the Thursday before Easter. I was fortunately able to see him before he passed. Both immediately, as well as 2 days before.

I'll go over the last time I saw my father "well". I went to the dentist in my family town 2 days before he died. As I am still registered for my dentist there, as it is not too difficult for my to get to by Bus. Anyway, after the Dentist I went to talk to my dad about the issue about rent, as well as to catch up with him a bit. As I did not see him nearly enough tbh for how relatively short of a distance I live. 

For context, a scouse comedian, and former drag act Paul O'Grady, (Lilly Savage) Died at the age of 67. My father was 64, and told me that he was planning on "outliving" Paul O'Grady. Meaning he was planning on living past 67 years old. Which he then told my eldest Sister the next day on the phone (Wednesday), and died on Thursday. The conversation also led to my father mentioning he was content with his life.

Which is weird on context, as his death was very sudden. As he had an aneurysm in his brain that burst creating a bleed and haemorrhage. Leading to his death in the hospital within a few hours. After my Younger brother (Recently sacked from his job) found him on the floor of the kitchen. Pressed an emergency contact button we had installed due to another condition of my fathers, and performed resuscitation. As with a brain bleed, turning my father on his side stopped his breathing. 

I was at work, but as soon as I was told to go to the hospital, I went, as my brother had contacted me as he was on his way to the hospital with my dad. 

So yeah, the reason for this section being called the final frontier, as my Dad was a massive fan of Star Trek. So for his funeral, in his closed coffin, he was wearing his Star Trek classic blue uniform. While the music at the end of the ceremony was the Star Trek Opening theme. That's the reason, and ultimately, the messages of a lot of star trek, (beyond the sex and misogyny of the show and it's creator, see this video from Jessie Gender) have stuck with me. Equality, humanity, a hope for a brighter future, and enjoying life. To boldly go where no one has gone before. 

I am going to miss him, and his wit, and intelligence. As well as the wonderful relationships he was able to have with people. He was an amazing man, while not perfect, I still aspire to be as good and wise as he was. 

Sorry, I just needed to write that. Got a little bit heavy and personal there huh? 

To Finish on a Sombre note though, my father had a certain attitude about death. Which he in life summarised, as he was ok with the idea of us shedding a tear, but ultimately he wanted us all to part/celebrate after his death. Which my understanding of him on that, I fell somewhat fittingly has a similar message that the character of spock said in the animated series of star trek, as silly and camp as that series could be. My dad I feel sat somewhere between Spock and Kirk sometimes with his charisma, and intelligence. But with my dad saying how he was content with his life:

"Every life comes to an end when time demands it. Loss of life is to be mourned but only if the life was wasted" (Source)

Video

2022

 Welcome to 2022 I suppose.

Unless you are reading this after. Little update, I'm now 23, Been triple jabbed against Covid-19(Pfizer) and also caught Covid at my grandmothers funeral. Meaning I had Covid over Christmas.

Finished all of my modules on my course. Although still waiting on final results. With Graduation in August. 

Now I need to look for work and a new place to stay due to the contract expiring on my student lease.

This isn't formatted super well. But it is just a summary of update at this point. As This feels like another key point in my life, where things are probably going to change again. As at 23 Years old, I am finally leaving education and moving onto the world of work. 

In the mean time, I've gone back to WoW, again... Even after quitting patch 9.1 because it was boring as shit. As it didn't feel like blizzard had given a shit about my time and had everything be so time-gated. 

With 9.2, a lot of that is alleviated, and Bobby Kotick exiting his leadership role from Activision Blizzard King as M$(Microsoft) buys them. Slimy Bobby Pictured below with Devil Horns

Not that being bought by M$ will fix the issues in the workplace for A-B-K, but one can only hope it might be better than having the Bill Cosby room, and workplace cubical crawling being a thing at the company.

Also as one can probably tell, I don't overly like Microsoft, which is why I write their name as M$. 
I just do not like how they operate as a company. Or how restrictive they are pushing the use of computers to be. Such as with only Pro versions of Windows being able to have an offline account. 

(I use Linux Mint at this time by the way.)

Oh also, Ken Ashcorp has released a song since 2020, called PPP. Which after listening (and buying on Bandcamp for access to the FLaC), it is absolutely a meme song.

Half Life 2 Mod I found

 Just a Very Short post showcasing a Half Life 2 Mod.

Download GO F#%K YOURSELF gman intro - Mod DB

Alright then. That's all.

University, Crypto, and Life

Intro

Hello again unlikely reader.

It has been less than half a year.

But I have decided to write a new entry on this blog. Which is just like a public diary. But without any details which would be too intimate. Instead just some timeline of my thoughts, over extended periods of time.

First, my “3rd” and Final year starts tomorrow. I am Currently writing this while in a discord call with a few of my Girlfriends, well, friends. She and one of them are playing Terraria. 

I am still not entirely sure what I am going to pick for my project in my final year. But I know I want to do something with ethics, and/or Computer networking.

As I hope to be a network admin at some point.

Cryptocurrency

Now, the crypto part of the title of this entry. So I made around £40-£50-ish profit out of a total £50-£60 investment in crypto. 

As I pulled out, right before the dip that happened around El Salvador started accepting Bitcoin as an official currency.  

I had a diverse portfolio of crypto on Coinbase. Not super diverse, don’t get me wrong. But I didn’t rely on one crypto. The only one I regret converting when I did, was Cosmos(Atom) As it actually doubled after it’s dip to now. But ultimately, that inevitably happens with any kind of investment. Still made money from my original investment anyway. Even after transaction fees. So Yay.

Right now though, I’m mostly invested in Ethereum 2. As it will stop me from panic selling too soon. I won’t be able to sell it until it officially releases. With 5.00% APY(Not compounded) on Coinbase. With just a little set aside in dai, ready to convert to another year onto my 4chan pass. Which allows me to post without the google captcha every fucking time. As well as being able to post from a VPN.

Tangent while talking about crypto. Random fact, but the creation of Ethereum can be traced back to a Nerf to a spell in the MMORPG World of Warcraft. Specifically, the warlock’s Siphon Life spell. As it made Vitalik Buterin as he quote “realized what horrors centralized services can bring”. Also with the warlock nerf again I quote he said “I cried myself to sleep”. Which is just humourous to me. A 16 year old Vitalik crying because of a warlock nerf. 

Life

Anyway, that aside. My girlfriend, has started HRT. Won’t go into what prescription or anything. But it’s a good start into her transition. Finally doing her 3rd year as well after a little hiccup after her second year. A happy partner makes for a happy life. 

Oh also, not sure if I’ve mentioned on this blog. But I have slowly started a side project. I’m creating a cyberpunk world. Not sure if it will be used for. Whether it be a tabletop, book, etc.

What I can tell you is the working title is “Cyber-UK” and it is currently a compilation of what I dislike about our potential futures, as well as some humour. For example, there is an online retailer who openly is unethical in its operation. But people still use it because there isn’t really an alternative. Also I don’t have this written down anywhere yet. But for a gang “Robo-Furries”. In any case, my intention is for it to be set in the UK, near future, general corpo-fascist dystopia. Rife with corporatism, governmental overreach, and ever diminishing privacy for the average person for the sake of a perceived convenience. 

Anyway(I am fond of that word aren’t I?), I leave you dear reader, with the working logo of my cyberpunk setting, “Cyber-UK” 

It's been a while

 So I haven't posted since January 2020. Yeah a lot has happened huh. 

Corona, my university, my relationship.

I'm primarily comfortable posting this because I don't believe anyone who knows me has ever actually seen this blog as of writing.

That "Boyfriend" I previously met is well. Now more of a "Girlfriend" . We're still early in the transition because of the slow as fuck NHS. Even before the pandemic. The NHS was slow for Trans people. I just never realised how slow until I have seen the process laid out from the initial point of self realisation and coming out. As my SO did not realise she wanted to specifically be seen as a woman when I met her. 

But anyway, I've also almost finished my "second" year of university. Quotes because I did a foundation degree. Anyway, The University has been overall pretty shit to be quite honest. Total lack of communication with students. To the point I am going to have at least one late submission as the module focused on an external examination to get an ITIL 4 qualification. And didn't formally mention an internal notification of the existence of an internal assignment. No formal email, Blackboard notification. Just an off hand mention in an email mainly talking about the damn test, and one sentence on a document outlining the schedule for the exam.

The funniest part. I haven't even been given a real chance at getting the qualification, due to the fact I accidentally arranged the exam for Tuesday 8:30 ish. While I thought I had arranged Wednesday the same week, at 8 30 ish. 

If I want an actual chance to do it now. I would be required to pay £100 to "reschedule" the test.

In any case I am confident I'll probably get it once submitted, just need to finish it. 

Yet I'm currently writing this. Why do I always write these when I have an imminent deadline?

In lighter news, I have learned more about Crypto this year. I tried to "Invest" on Coinbase. But on a parental supplied budget as a student. Not really practical to say the least.

For now I am using the brave browser to accumulate BAT tokens, by my calculation I could get about $5 each month for using my web browser. Which isn't to bad. Paired with the occasional free crypto from coinbase, it's not much. But it's a little free money here and there. 

In any-case that's all I care to write about right this moment. So this is Where I leave you, mostly non existent reader for who knows how long.

(Pictured below the symbol for BAT, A cryptocurrency)